My ex husband and I are getting our farm ready for sale.
We’ve been here six years, and I feel sad to be leaving. When we bought the place, it was a dream come true to me. I’d always wanted land, and a farm, and a house almost exactly like this. It was what I wanted.
In the six years or so we’ve been here, we’ve turned our property from a toxic wasteland doused with chemicals by previous owners into an organic paradise. It’s beautiful here, and peaceful, and the place thrums with birdsong in summer and the buzz of bees and insect life.
I feel like I’ve done what I came here to do.
But times change, and the fact of the matter is that when you divorce, everything gets split to ways, and I can’t afford to stay. In any case I’d have probably had to leave even if I could afford it, simply because I’ll soon be working full time, and I wouldn’t be able to manage the upkeep on the place.
It’s time to move on.
So we’re getting painting and decking done, and fixing everything that needs sorting for the sale. The place is actually in pretty good order, but there are some things holding us back, and they all take time. Then we hope to sell this summer, and we’ll split the proceeds, and go our own ways.
Moving into town
I’ll be moving into town, and my plans are to rent for a while until I find a place that suits me. I’ve already started to watch the market, and I’ll be looking for a place that is convenient to my son’s new High School (he’s starting High School this year, I can’t believe it!) and close to wherever I end up working.
Ideally I’d prefer not to need a car at all, but with young kids I’m guessing that’s just not possible right now. Maybe once they’ve left the nest…? 🙂
One thing that is daunting is clearing out the whole farm of everything that needs to go. Despite the fact I’ve been decluttering for a couple of years, there is still a lot of stuff that needs selling and dumping, and getting rid of it all takes time. I’m glad I’m not a clutterbug! But there will be a lot of farm tools that I won’t need in the city any more, and I’ll be selling a lot of them.
It’s also a bit scary to think of supporting myself for the first time in decades. I was with my husband for nearly twenty years, and suddenly being independent is a big change for me. I think I’ll cope just fine, but I’m sure there will be challenges.
I’m glad my ex-husband and I are on excellent terms. I wouldn’t have to do this all if we were fighting. But we’ve reached a very amicable separation, and our relationship has evolved into one of good friends. I hope we stay that way.
I don’t think anyone ever plans to divorce. But we were neither of us happy together, and when we decided to end things we immediately knew it was the right thing to do. I never saw myself as a divorcee, but I guess that’s what I am. As long as we both put our children first, though, everything will be all right.
It will be all right 🙂