Decluttering relationships: 7 types of friends to let go

If you’re like me, neighbours, workmates and even old schoolmates have all become good friends over time.

But sometimes we hang on to friendships long after they’ve ceased to be a positive force in our lives. Or something happens that makes us view a current relationship in a completely new way.

That’s when it’s time to look at the relationship and decide whether it adds to our lives in a meaningful, supportive way, or whether it is dragging us down, and possibly even depressing us or bringing out the worst in us.

So here are 7 types of friends you can do without. While everyone has faults, if you recognise these behaviours in someone you know again and again, and they’re bringing you down, it’s time to let them go. No-one has the right to bring unnecessary nastiness into your life.

1. Psychic vampires. Psychic vampires do nothing but drain you emotionally, sucking the life and joy out of everyone around them. They’re needy, self-obsessed and unable to see anyone’s viewpoint but their own. Even if you’ve known them for years, psychic vampires need to be let go, or they’ll drain you dry. Garlic them!

vampire

2. Financial vampires. Everybody understands when a friend is on hard times, and we all do our best to help out when we can. But financial vampires are those people who always seem to be asking for a loan, or who go out with you and – at the end of the night – suddenly have no money. Or they skive off just before the bill arrives. Financial vampires always need more help, and never seem to get out of their monetary woes – they just keep needing more. Ditch ’em!

3. The mean friend. Have you ever had a friend who is always saying mean things about people? Who says sarcastic remarks about you, or people you care for? Sure they might be fun to be around, but have you wondered what they’re saying about you when your back is turned? Unfortunately meanness doesn’t end at high school, but nobody needs friends like that. Declutter them!

exist

4. The jealous friend. This is the friend who cannot seem to support you in your success. They always have to criticise your wins, and attack your gains. You achieve something? They’ll be right there at your side, ready to tell you how unimportant it was. You succeed after a lot of work at an important personal goal? They’ll be right with you, telling you how your success will be short-lived. Or worse, they’ll pretend to be pleased, then undermine every step you take from that point, just to bring you down even more. Nobody needs that kind of attitude. Get rid of them!

5. The unstable friend. Will you catch them on a good day, or a bad day? Will they be your best buddy, our spitting venom at you? Will they be hating the world today, or loving everyone? You need stability in your friends. Nobody needs a roller-coaster of a friendship. Let them go!

6. The blamer. They had a personal problem. Guess what? It’s YOUR fault! They had something bad happen? Yep, your fault again! This type of person can’t ever accept that bad things happen, nor can they accept that sometimes the bad things that happen are their own fault. They need to grow up real fast, and it’s not your job to be their parent. Into the garbage chute, flyboy!

star-wars-into-the-garbage-chute-flyboy

7. The generally insecure horrorshow. They’re insecure about, well, practically everything. So they criticise and make nasty comments about everyone else. They don’t have anything good to say about anyone, and nobody is as good as they are. They’re an expert on everything, but have nothing to show for it – and they’re especially an expert on the stuff you’re good at! Throw them away!

ferns

4 thoughts on “Decluttering relationships: 7 types of friends to let go

  1. This is an interesting post. My sister had mentioned this to me before when I was struggling with a friend. She asked me, “How do you benefit from this friendship?” I had a hard time coming up with an answer, as it was someone who wasn’t really on the 2-way street of friendship. My sister then pointed out things I gained from other friendships, such as loyalty, communication, laughter and inside jokes, common ground to connect on. These are all important things, and it is especially important to recognize when only one person benefits from a relationship – that is a problem and it is time to let go.

    Liked by 1 person

    • @Nadine – Your sister is right 🙂 I think, as you say, friendships *should* be a positive two-way street, and usually they are.

      It’s when they’re not, and the positive stuff is all one way or, worse yet, you’re giving and they’re sending the nasty back, that it’s time to let go. That can be hard to do, especially if you’re the kind of person who is loyal to their friends and values them, but you have to value yourself and your own mental well being first.

      In short, you can’t be the best friend possible to everyone else and a good solid foundation to your family if you’re always knee deep in muck from someone who is abusing you.

      Just my 2c. Thanks for commenting 🙂

      Like

  2. Absolutely. Take care of yourself and your family first, surrounding yourself with people who will love you back and take care of you when you, in turn, need support. XX

    Like

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